By Abby O'Reilly | 18 June 2007, 23:21

The cult of celebrity has for a long time forced us to assess the shape and appearance of our own breasts. This has not been a good thing. As a lot of the women regularly gracing the pages of celeb gossip mags have received a visit from a more-than-generous plastic tit fairy, it’s not surprising that many of us feel inadequate, evaluating our own attributes with such negativity that we would probably be star pupils at the Simon Cowell School of etiquette and compliments.

But, with more and more women opting to go under the knife, manufacturers have needed to amend the conventional bra design in order to accommodate the plastic fantastic, according to a report by The Guardian.

Le Mysteres new no.9 range has been designed specifically to cater for women with surgically enhanced breasts, since the burgeoning preference for the false look has meant breasts have become too symmetrical for conventional bras.

Dr. David Brothers, the plastic surgeon that has helped design the range gave an explanation for this as follows:

“The trend has been to use higher-profile breast implants with a narrower base and more projection, which means that traditional bras tend not to fit properly. Even normal straps and material aren’t ideal.”

Nice that the plastic surgeon who carries out these procedures is so considerate, don’t you think? Obviously he doesn’t want people to be put out, although instead of going to the trouble of designing a bra which, being described as “mathematically defined and designed,” sounds like something you could launch a space shuttle out of, why not propose the introduction of initiatives to encourage young women to appreciate their bodies regardless of size or shape? Although that’s not likely to be a lucrative option, is it?

But, with engineering that would probably put NASA to shame, these bras come at a cost, which is a blow having paid extortionate amounts of money to have your breasts inflated like water balloons under your skin. Harrods are stocking the range, which starts at £60, and already they have reported there being a fantastic response.

Plastic surgeon Mr Patrick Mallucci, member of the British Association of Plastic Surgeons and the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, has praised the introduction of this new lingerie range, claiming that:

“Lingerie catering for the unique shape of the augmented breast is great news for women.”

It’s difficult to share his optimism, when essentially the bra has had to be redesigned in order to accommodate breasts that are so unlike natural breasts that the traditional template is redundant. But, instead of telling women that their boobs are now so high up that they can probably rest their chin on them, or even eat their dinner of them should the mood take them, the cosmetics industry in collaboration with the lingerie industry is choosing to amend the one thing that would highlight the falsity of their inflated chests. It’s ironic really that many women opt to have surgery feeling that their breasts, being what they may feel to be an inadequate size, make them feel less feminine, when in actual fact what they become following augmentation are physical manifestations of what it would look like if Mr Potato Head was suddenly endowed with a pair of 32DD’s; unnecessary and uncomfortable looking attachments.

What we need is to address the reason why women opt to pay for unrealistic looking breasts in the first place, rather than the need to accommodate these breasts-of-Frankenstein with silks and frills.

Photo by sachama, shared under a Creative Commons License