By Kate Smurthwaite | 3 May 2008, 17:50

I guess many of you are feeling as miserable as I am about the prospect of four years of Boris Johnson running London. Very few of you though have the privilege of a Facebook account stacked with friends from the world of stand-up comedy. Seems like everyone I know has a “status update” with something to say about their mood today. So I thought I would share my top ten. If they make you laugh - why not have a flick through Time Out and see when they’re on near you and check them out!

10) Jamie Goodwin urges the last person to leave London today to turn the lights off. RIP London.

9) Chuquai Billy says: See? I told you so!

8) Mark Watson can only hope that now, London doesn’t become an overpopulated, expensive, dirty, unfriendly dystopia or anything like that. (Sarcasm.)

7) Brian Damage is ruing the day I thought it would be quite funny if Boris actually became Mayor.

6) Sam Stone says chill. None of it is real. We are all in the matrix including the mayor.

5) Stuart Goldsmith hopes that Boris ruining London will remind the rest of the country that Tories are cocks, JUST IN TIME.

4) Chris Mayo is *insert negative Boris Johnson comment here*.

3) Josie Long is pissed off you didn’t listen to her. She goes away for three little months and you fools let the Tories in.

2) (OK, a journalist not a comedian, but a very witty one…) Johann Hari is going to hang himself about Boris. Have I Got Noose For You.

1) (pictured) Broderick Chow is clawing at the bathroom mirror trying desperately to get back through it.

Photo by Alexis Dubus, with permission.