Sexual assault prevention tips guaranteed to work!
By Jess McCabe | 22 September 2009, 10:39
I’ve seen this list posted in several places in the last few days, so I’m not sure who originally wrote it. But I do think it nicely reverses the way these email circulars usually pull out a long list of ‘advice’ for women to circumscribe our own behaviour in order to avoid being attacked. Ampersand also posted a link to this post at abyss2hope, particularly aimed at students going off to university for the first time this autumn.
Please distribute this list. Put it up in your place of work, in your university’s library or wherever you think theymight be read:1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
Photo by sijeka*, shared on Flickr using a Creative Commons license
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Feeds
Amy said:
Haha brilliant, but naw we couldn't have common sense in this world!
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 1:12 PM
Kristel said:
Absolutely BRILLIANT! Puts the onus fairly and squarely where it has always and will always belong - on the perps.
(Jess, Catherine and all F-Word bloggers, I don't want to sound creepy crawly here, but I'd just like to say how glad I am that the F-Word exists and I think it's fantastic that you manage to do all this as well as having full-time jobs, etc. I think sometimes this gets forgotten among all the heated debate! Reading TFW has informed me, changed my thinking and made me think where I wasn't thinking. And I'm sure it will continue to do that.
Please keep up the great work.)
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 1:21 PM
FeminaErecta said:
I've had this forwarded to me about 47 times this week and it still makes me chuckle.
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 2:32 PM
Politicalguineapig said:
This is a great campaign. I just wish I could believe that it would work.
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 3:41 PM
polly said:
Brilliant. We should raise funds to get it written on the side of buses.
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 7:16 PM
Anji said:
For the record, the original post is here. :o)
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 9:06 PM
Anne Onne said:
Excellent list!
On a not-exactly-more-serious-tone-but-you-know-what-I-mean, it really is such a shame that you never really see advice for young men (I'm assuming this was based on the advice for young women) on what exactly constitutes consent, and how to not get into the 'misunderstandings' that constitute rape. I.e. how to value consent, and that the onus should be on being sure the other person is consenting, rather than on being sure they are not.
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 9:16 PM
annthracks said:
no. 10 If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” obviously English isn't your first language :-) should be "by accident" or "accidentally", thank you :)
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 10:20 PM
Cathy A B said:
What a brillient idea Polly,they did a similar thing with the athiest campaign and that got a lot of attention.I'd certainly contribute with time aswell as money although i admit i wouldnt know where to start.
Posted on 22 September 2009 at 11:51 PM
Jess McCabe said:
@annthracks Clearly that's meant to be an intentional, snarky reversal of "on purpose".
Posted on September 23, 2009 9:22 AM
Josie said:
Count me in for donating money and time to getting this publicised. It's about time!
Posted on 23 September 2009 at 10:08 AM
anne botte said:
I wish it were as easy as distributing a list for rapists (or I guess potential rapists) to read! It sucks that we women have to bear the burden both of preventing rape and of the social stigma of rape.
Unfortunately its still a good idea for women to be cautious and keep themselves safe.
Posted on 06 October 2009 at 2:25 PM
Alyks said:
Although I support the concept that men should be taught about sexual assault and that the victim should not be blamed, I feel that this list misses the point of how most sexual assaults happen. Most rape victims(me being one of them) are raped by someone they knew and trusted. Most rapes do not occur by strangers climbing in windows. Also, the list has a sort of joking tone, which is insensitive to those who have been raped.
Posted on 07 October 2009 at 8:31 AM
Anna said:
@Alyks:
I dunno. I think the last few points in it sum up acquaintance rapes quite well..
Posted on 07 October 2009 at 11:16 AM
Alyks said:
@ Anna:
Mmm, maybe, but still I do not find this list effective. This is a serious issue and if we are going to try to teach men to take it seriously, we cannot joke about it. I think that what needs to be focused on here is teaching men to RESPECT women. Like I said, I support the incentive of this list, but I think that it was done all wrong and maybe should be given more thought.
Posted on 07 October 2009 at 7:40 PM
Alyks said:
OK, I just looked at the original post or this list and the most important part was left out!!!(why???) This part makes this list work. It goes at the bottom of the list:
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
Posted on 07 October 2009 at 7:49 PM
janet said:
Would someone design a poster, s.v.p.
I'd like to see this plastered about.
Posted on 08 October 2009 at 12:58 AM
SayBlade said:
With a little tweaking to remove any traces of a snarky tone and adding two more steps one could actually use these as a 12-step foundation for a support group for those who would be tempted to rape someone.
11. Remember that you are a human being who has needs for self esteem which can be reinforced through self-control and respect for others. Others will return the respect through their trust in you.
12. When you get stressed or feel overwhelmed, look for places where there are supportive people and supportive situations. Remember that you only take one day at a time and take it easy on yourself.
Posted on 08 October 2009 at 4:20 PM
La Gitane Fille said:
Reading this, my eyes welled up with tears; it really hit home. To say that this list is fantastic is a genuine understatement.
Posted on 10 October 2009 at 2:32 PM
Georgie said:
@ Alyks - The jokey tone of the list belies the thought and seriousness behind it, but the list is supposed to work on several levels. Humour is one of the best ways of communicating hard-to-swallow ideas, and I honestly think that the best way to reach men, especially in the context of changing their attitude towards women and modifying their own behaviour, is through a little light comedy.
Posted on 10 October 2009 at 5:02 PM
Carolyn said:
When trying to deal with a series of assaults on women, one Israeli politician suggested to Prime Minister Golda Meir that women should not be allowed on the streets after dark. Golda Meir's response: "Men are attacking the women, not the other way around. If there is going to be a curfew, let the men be locked up, not the women."
Posted on 16 October 2009 at 8:14 PM
polly said:
Janet - why not print the text on some sticky A4 labels (available from all good stationers) and stick it up yourself - it's good fun.....
Posted on 17 October 2009 at 8:59 AM
Ruben said:
"I think that what needs to be focused on here is teaching men to RESPECT women"
Agreed! being a young man myself i have come to really appreciate respecting women. After all, i was given birth and raised by one.
Here's a cool quote. It might not be exact as im reciting it off my head, but it comes from the Malcolm X movie (with Denzel Washington)
"The beginning of a new nation must begin with the woman, for she is the first teacher to the child. What the mother will teach to her children, those children qill teach to the world."
The power is in your hands ladies.
Posted on 17 October 2009 at 11:55 AM
Rani said:
Brilliant! I had to create a new page on my website for worthy links, and this is the only worthy so far!
Posted on 20 October 2009 at 3:23 PM
Kristel said:
Rani, if you respected women you wouldn't expect them to bear the sole responsibility for teaching children and thereby "beginning a new nation".
Women have got more than enough responsibility. What they need are more rights.
Posted on 20 October 2009 at 5:01 PM