We all want an alpha-male, apparently…
Abby OReilly // 30 July 2007
Good news female comrades. Ever wondered what heterosexual females look for in a partner? Well, think no further, as the answer has arrived from an unlikely source, a man named Daniel Miessler, who has attempted to unlock the enigma of the ‘The Nice Guy Paradox’ and tell us what we women want in just five short paragraphs.
So, firstly, well done mate, that’s no easy feat. Secondly, does anyone else feel slightly disconcerted when a man attempts to provide a psychological exposition of our wants and desires, in order tell us what we think and why we do so? It wouldn’t be unreasonable to feel that way, especially in this instance where Miessler has attempted to determine why ‘nice guys’ aren’t a hit with the ladies.
According to Miessler’s theory:
“Quite simply, women like powerful men to be nice to them, not feminized pseudo-men. A weak man being nice to a woman is essentially an act of submission, like a beggar bowing his head and calling you sir. Sure, they were respectful to you, but they just asked you for money so it’s not as meaningful as if it came from a peer or superior.”
Essentially, what Miessler suggests is that women are only attracted to those men who feel they have condescended to be nice to a woman; we only appreciate an act of kindness or generosity when it is bestowed on us by some young gentleman who could be more accurately defined as a complete and utter bastard. And in case you are sceptical, Miessler ends with this final thought:
“Only once that foundation of primal respect is in place can the higher-order offerings such as kindness be appreciated. It’s counter-intuitive and it’s unpleasant, but we’re dealing with nature here. Don’t fight the rules; to do so is as pointless as picketing gravity or boycotting inertia.”
So, what do you think? Is this a redundant argument, precipitated by the male-psyche to justify why some men can’t get laid? To explain why others fail to show even the slightest hint of decency towards his female partner? Or is it just wishful thinking? The bad boy has often been considered the epitome of sexual attraction, but are women attracted to him for anything more than just a good shag?
As entertaining as this article was, it did nothing but confirm the traditional lateral and one-sided thinking of many men who profess to know what women want.
Photo by torkristensen, shared under a Creative Commons License