Stupid questions…

// 3 March 2008

I am taking for granted that our smart and wonderful readers don’t need this advice, but just in case (and because it’s funny):

(Hat tip to Helen, via Bilerico. See for more.)

Comments From You

Holly Combe // Posted 3 March 2008 at 5:40 pm

Am loving Calpernia’s comeback to “I’ve seen Tootsie. I know what you’re going through”:

“I’ve seen Dumb and Dumber. I know what you’re going through.”

Her comments that “women are more than a lack of a penis” and that we have our own genitalia just go to show that we women all have to put up with the same shit (whatever our biological history).

Not so sure about the comment on what gay guys and straight guys like though. I thought it seemed a bit reductive. I know lots of people who are into men but don’t dig muscles and sweat and plenty of people who are into women but don’t actually want softness or “femininity.” (Still, I agree that the question Calpernia was responding to was stupid and offensive.)

Calpernia Addams // Posted 3 March 2008 at 7:37 pm

Thank you for covering my little video. It was definitely meant to be taken with a wink of humor, but it felt good to just say exactly what I feel when asked these questions. I know that most people are coming at this with a good heart, but it’s not a bad idea to give them pause to consider how they might get the information without hurting someone’s feelings. Answering once or twice is do-able, but after 10+ years, I’m a little worn out!

I know my simplification of what straight and gay men want was… simple! Ha ha. I was improvising most of this as I went along, and that was the first thing that came to mind to answer that question. I hope no one was seriously hurt by anything *I* said, and I’m glad people are getting a smile out of it! =)

Mortality // Posted 3 March 2008 at 8:37 pm

Oh, I finally learnt how to pronounce anaesthesia :D (English is not my first language)

I think it was pretty funny how she smiled throughout the video while insulting morons. And I think the question about gay/straight guys was one of the stupidest. If I asked anything on the sexuality I’d asked if she dated girls or guys.

Lara // Posted 3 March 2008 at 9:34 pm

I think really, the whole “what straight guys want vs. what gay guys want” could probably be better simplified by saying “straight guys want a vulva, gay guys want a penis”, but otherwise, I loved it.

Lara // Posted 3 March 2008 at 9:38 pm

Naw, I don’t mean that. I meant to say “straight guys want a PERSON with a vulva, gay guys want a PERSON with a penis”, I went a little overboard with the reductionism in my previous post.

Jess McCabe // Posted 3 March 2008 at 10:22 pm

To be honest, I think that’s still extremely reductive, and not particularly accurate, either!

Lily // Posted 4 March 2008 at 3:14 pm

heehee, can’t believe some of the dumb questions, although to be honest I do quite frequently get the “hey, my waiter last night was Asian!” comments.

Good video!

But perhaps the “straight/gay” guy answer may have been better answered “you don’t need to concern yourself with that, cuz you can bet your ass I’m not gonna go for you”

Lara // Posted 4 March 2008 at 11:33 pm

Yes, that’s true.

Okay, I don’t think there really is a good answer to that question. Best not to answer it. It’s not like the person asking is going to have their life affected by the answer anyway.

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