On female friendship & marriage
Jess McCabe // 9 January 2009
Is marriage just for people who are sexually and romantically involved with each other?
Over at the Shameless Blog, Zoe writes about her own experience getting married to her long-term platonic female best friend.
And, well, why not? Is resistance to this idea a sign of the low regard in which we as a society value friendship? What are the effects of singling out romantic, sexual and, in many jurisdictions, straight, coupledom for all the extra status and rights granted to married couples?
This reminds me of the debates over whether or not platonic friends should be eligible for civil partnerships, when they came into force in the UK.
Many people seem to have misunderstood this point, and a surprising number declined the invitation to our wedding because they found the whole concept so odd. It made them uncomfortable. More’s the pity.
So I wrote this for everyone who was confused by our marriage, to explain why she is my Wife.
Here it is: She is my match…
We are, as the Brits say, “cut from the same cloth.” Or as Bex puts it, “we are mates of soul.”
When we met, it was love at first sight. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen for a friend so quickly and so easily.
I have other girlfriends I love no less, and whom I would call “my Best Friend.”
But Bex is my Wife. The distinction between Bex and my Best Friends is that, if either one of us were male, we would actually date, marry and have babies. We were made for each other.
We have called each other “Wife” – both to each other and when referring to each other – for well on a year now. So we decided it was high time we actually got married.