New Forum for Feminist Parents

// 29 July 2009

Mother and Child

The creators of the Mothers for Women’s Lib blog have set up a new forum for feminist parents. It’s at http://feministmums.forumotion.com

It was created by the same people who bring you the Mothers For Women’s Lib blog … to fill a very specific need – a parenting forum free from the tiring misogyny present on so many parenting forums that we’d used.

If you have any ideas for the forum, ideas for subforums you think should be here, or anything else to do with the forum that you really need to get off your chest, please PM me and we can get talking.

Photo by denmar, used under creative commons licence.

Comments From You

Noble Savage // Posted 29 July 2009 at 5:47 pm

I have already joined and am so excited to have a space to discuss feminist parenting away from mainstream parenting boards and also, in some cases, general feminist forums where parenting issues aren’t given much credence.

Thank you, MFWL!

Matt // Posted 30 July 2009 at 9:56 am

Why do you call it a forum for feminist parents when it’s called feministMUMS?

Either call it a forum for feminist parents and make it for feminists of both genders, or call it a sexist-gender-stereotype-enforcing-feminist-forum. Yum.

You are normally critical about gender stereotyping, which, as a father I resent too.

But when it suits you (mum knows best, eh? Hence child custody 99% of the time) all of a sudden it seems that the patriarchy isn’t so bad.

You’re sending the wrong message there.

On a larger scale, if you want mothers to be less penalised by the world of work, then you’ll have to embrace a society where parents (not just mums) share the work- and that will require sharing the rights and recognition too…

Now I know I haven’t been too lovable in this comment, and you’ll probably have something snide to say in return. That’s fair enough.

But when all’s said and done, have a think about the double standards you show when seeking to end sexism. If it’s sexism but it happens to work in your favour, does that make it ok?

Peace.

Catherine Redfern // Posted 30 July 2009 at 3:05 pm

@Matt

I called it forum for feminist parents because that’s what it is. It is open to all parents / prospective parents / interested parties (I checked).

With regard to the name of the forum, I can’t answer that as it was not created by me or anyone at the F Word. I was merely reporting that the forum had been created.

Yes, you certainly haven’t “been too lovable”. Did you not consider just asking a polite question and waiting for the answer, and then forming an opinion?

You may disagree with the answer you get, and raise concerns, and that’s fine, but your willingness to rush into assumptions about all feminists, and generalise about us (“You do this, you do that”), and call us hypocrites, does not suggest to me that you are coming from a position of an ally.

Anji // Posted 30 July 2009 at 3:07 pm

Matt:

It’s because the *blog*, which has existed for some time, has the domain name feministmums.wordpress.com, and its title is Mothers For Women’s Lib – because it is *written* solely by feminist mothers, not fathers (though commenting is open to readers of both sexes).

Thus the forum was given the same name (so that it would match the blog to save readers’ confusion) but it has been decided that the forum will be open to both mothers and fathers (and in fact feminist non-parents if they feel they can add to or gain from the forum).

Catherine Redfern // Posted 30 July 2009 at 3:09 pm

Thanks for that Anji.

Sienna // Posted 30 July 2009 at 3:42 pm

Child custody 99% of the time? Figure is not quite that high, but the reference must be to the overwhelming majority of undefended divorce cases which involve children, where one parent (usually the father) is more than happy for the other parent (usually the mother) to keep on doing most of the work and bearing most of the responsibilty. There are only a tiny minority of cases where custody is disputed.

Someone on the F-Word commented recently about supercilious “default” dudes who think the world is their classroom. Seems we’ve got another example here. You’ve got to laugh really, they’re all so predictable.

Anna // Posted 30 July 2009 at 6:26 pm

‘But when it suits you (mum knows best, eh? Hence child custody 99% of the time) all of a sudden it seems that the patriarchy isn’t so bad.’

The patriarchy definitely worked in my mams favour when my father didn’t bother to show up to court three times, stalked her, was busted for possession twice, and topped it off by never paying a penny of child support in his life. Yeah, custody! Woo…

Varla // Posted 30 July 2009 at 9:53 pm

I’m not a mum either as I’m a stepmother without my own biological children (horrible phrase), but I was pleased to see there was a space for step-parents on this forum.

polly styrene // Posted 30 July 2009 at 10:40 pm

Peace indeed Matt. Do you consider yourself a feminist?

polly styrene // Posted 30 July 2009 at 10:54 pm

On the subject of custody

“A study by the Oxford Centre for Family Law and Policy was set up by the Ministry of Justice to look into non-resident parents being awarded little or no contact with their children for the flimsiest of reasons. Last week, the study concluded that the vast majority of separated fathers enjoy access to their children. Only one in 10 cases ends up in court, the rest having been agreed between the parents. When the cases do go to court, more than three-quarters of the applicants, mainly fathers, are able to resolve contact issues, with only a small percentage denied contact altogether, in the interests of the children involved. ”

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/sep/28/comment.fathers.justice

Madeleine // Posted 31 July 2009 at 12:30 pm

Really nice that the forum will also be open to feminist non-parents. I don’t have kids myself, but I have nieces and nephews and am concerned about issues which affect them, and children in general.

Clair // Posted 19 October 2009 at 8:32 pm

I am am mum of four and i am currently in my final year of an art degree. My work is based on mothers real views of motherhood, ie the challenges and the truth. If anyone has any comments they would like to put forward about motherhood, i would be really really grateful!

Thanks Clair

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