Guest post: “Facebook rape”

// 11 December 2009

Alex Corwin reports on the insensitive and potentially triggering use of the word ‘rape’ on Facebook and explains how to report it.

Today while skimming through the list of status updates and the like on Facebook I was horrified to discover that an old school friend has joined a group called “Facebook Rape is a Common Side Effect of Going to University”. The name alone was enough to make me feel sick, but it got worse when I clicked on the link. A post appearing on the group’s wall reads, “this has to be the 2nd best form of rape”. I don’t think I have words for the amount of wrongness here.

Sadly this is not the only group of this nature; a quick search reveals many more groups about so-called “Facebook rape”. Perhaps it is foolish of me to be surprised by the existence of these groups, when in the last few months the phrase “Facebook rape” has become more and more common. Recently I have also come across the phrase “yawn rape” (apparently this is putting your finger into someone else’s mouth when they yawn; I don’t know why you would do this in the first place) and heard someone describe burning sausages as “absolutely raping them”.

Allowing rape jokes to become commonplace is unacceptable. It is triggering for victims of sexual assault for a start. But it also diminishes the horror of rape and its impact on the victim’s life. We live in an age of shockingly low rape conviction rates and high levels of violence against women and victim blaming. It is worrying that for many young men and women rape is increasingly seen as something laughable. Until there is a change in attitude and people stop equating rape with a minor inconvenience or childish prank I fear that rising conviction rates and preventing violence against women will be an uphill struggle.

It is possible to report Facebook groups, and hopefully if enough people complain about the offensive nature of these groups they will be removed and banned altogether.

To do this, you do need to click on the group and on the left side of the page there is a link to “report this group”. You have to select a reason from Facebook’s predetermined list. Unfortunately this is a pretty poor selection, but the “racist / hate speech” category seems the most relevant of those given. After this is selected you are asked for additional comments. In this section I wrote

This group is not only triggering to victims of rape of sexual assault, but it also diminishes the horror of rape and the trauma experienced by many women. Hacking someone’s Facebook page is not akin to an act of violence against a person. The trivalisation of rape in this way amounts to hate speech against the victims of sexual assault.

Feel free to use this if you wish. Once a complaint has been made against a group the administrator will review it, although Facebook will not get back to you with the result of the action (I guess this means we have to keep searching for the groups to see if they have been removed!).

Tackling those that make rape jokes in real life sadly may be a little more difficult, but if we can get this removed from a site like Facebook, that’d be a good start!

Comments From You

depresso // Posted 11 December 2009 at 1:45 pm

A useful quote (that I have adapted to fit in a macro command in World of Warcraft):

“Rape is not what George Lucas did to your childhood. Rape is not what happens when a sports team beats another sports team by a wide margin. Rape is not what happens when your electric bill is higher this month than it was last month. Rape is when a person violates another person in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable and among the myriad of terrible things humans can do to one another, rape is among the worst. I think the casual misappropriation of the concept of rape extending all the way to its widespread comical usage is disgusting even by Internet standards. Off my chest.”

http://www.overcompensating.com/posts/20081211.html

Ana // Posted 11 December 2009 at 2:34 pm

I will certainly contact Facebook, but Facebook are generally not super at removing things (unless they are illegal) however many people are offended. This has certainly been the case with Holocaust denial groups on Facebook.

Rachel H-G // Posted 11 December 2009 at 3:14 pm

What action does the term describe? I’ve not come across this before.

BareNakedLady // Posted 11 December 2009 at 3:56 pm

Rachel – it’s when someone’s fbook account gets hacked into, usually obvious because the hacker posts status updates like ‘U R ALL A BUNCH OF ‘.

And then one of their friends, or the person who’s been hacked, when they realise what’s happened, will commonly post something like ‘Haha RAPED!’ to mean ‘ha ha, you got your account hacked’.

BareNakedLady // Posted 11 December 2009 at 5:01 pm

addition to the above – that should have read ‘U R ALL A BUNCH OF …insert swearword here…’ but I used the html tag brackets which I guess is why that didn’t come out. But you get the example.

Elmo // Posted 11 December 2009 at 7:56 pm

I was waiting for this to come up. A lot of my friends use this term very casually, especially on Facebook, and ive yet to confront them, because I know the reaction will be “Stop being so oversensitive, its just a joke”, and they wont stop to consider the effect of what they are saying. Rape is a word used a lot by my generation, (the comedian Russell Howard is the one responsible for yawn rape, I saw him live, and thought he was a bit of a tool) and its only since I became a feminist that I realised how much it is used and how casually. I believe we desperately need people to become more aware of the way they use language, and that its not always a case of PC gone mad and people over reacting. In fact, it almost never is.

Karen Vaughan // Posted 11 December 2009 at 8:51 pm

I find it disturbing that these morons are aware enough of the concept of rape to use it in a “violation” of someone elses space concept (albeit their net space) but unfeeling enough to use the term anyway. As a joke. Hmm!

I am finding it in common use as a way of saying someone or something has been humiliated these days, only ever used by those that belong to the gender that is much less likely to truly understand it of course. I deliberately have no access to the social sites like facebook, twitter etc. for these reasons because all of the cowards that used to risk their safety by picking on people to their faces are now using the internet to air their (normally vile) views without the risk of the usually mentally stronger opponent telling them some home truths. The up-side is that the second the computer is switched off, their voices no longer exist in the non-cyber world so maybe we should leave the net to the bullies to sound off their pathetic voices and the rest of us can get on with life. Yeah, I know….

Wyn // Posted 11 December 2009 at 10:04 pm

Thanks, I reported that group following your post. The misuse of the word rape is terribly offensive, and I reported the title of the group along with several individual posts with your recommended phrase. Earlier this week, a Jezebel commenter drew our attention to a similarly offensive Facebook group that basically amounted to “You’re a girl, make me a sandwich.” I found, however, that the language in the “rape” group’s wall postings (at least on the first page) were nowhere near as offensive as those on the “sandwich” page, likely because the rape group was not anti-Female in sentiment, just in the misuse/abuse of the word rape. The sandwich group attracted/inspired incredibly anti-female comments, many of which were not only wildly offensive but also scary.

Not saying one is better or worse than the other, just that this type of verbal abuse comes in so many forms and inspires a range of responses from subscribers to those groups. We must all try to be vigilant in spotting and diligent in reporting these groups, in hopes that a critical mass of complaints will get them pulled off Facebook (though I am skeptical, like Ana, that Facebook will do anything unless legally required to.)

aimee // Posted 12 December 2009 at 11:19 am

Yeahhuh. The kinds of people who use those kinds of terms are not the kinds of people who are willing to listen to why people are offended by what they say, though.

I thought Holocaust denial was illegal?

Ms F // Posted 12 December 2009 at 1:46 pm

How weird is this – my son was just going on about computer viruses and said (jokingly) “please hold on while your computer is raped” I was horrified!

He is a good boy (he’s 13) and after I had a talk he did looked shame faced, but it worries me that a boy who has been raised by strong women could use such a word so casually.

Sesi // Posted 12 December 2009 at 4:28 pm

It’s things like this that make me wonder why I still go on facebook.

Also: Due to the new layout I saw that someone on my friend’s list (now deleted) just joined this group. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=nf&gid=44726262541#/group.php?v=info&ref=nf&gid=44726262541

I clicked on it, thinking that it would be something kinda cute – like chain e-mails I’m sometimes sent, tell her she’s beautiful etc. I now feel physically sick.

Louise Bond // Posted 13 December 2009 at 8:34 am

I have also heard the term rape used by men and women to tell their partner they want to have sex with them. I remember one wgirl whose partner was on holiday and she was on the phone to him saying “I miss you so much, your getting raped when you get back”. This makes it out as if rape is ok within a relationship, like its impossible to rpae your partner or something and rape is just sex.

Louise Bond // Posted 13 December 2009 at 9:19 am

I hate to break this to you but just typed in Facebook rape and found over 500 groups dedicated to it. I have limited it to just complaining about the ones with a huge amount of members. One of the worst ones was “facebook rape victim support” with a “no means no” slogan. I did like one called “Stop Making Facebook Groups Trivializing Rape!!!!”

Do you think maybe we could use the popularity of this groups to our advantage and use them as an opportunity to get people talking about, debating and discussing rape?

Davina // Posted 13 December 2009 at 11:41 am

Sesi – I just clicked on that group – which is sick as you said. It’s got 986 members. A common thing people say when you confront them on this is ‘but there’s another group about how to treat men so it’s ok’. So I did a search and yes, there’s a group called ‘how to treat your men’, but with 448 members. Misogyny is rife in both groups, apart from feeding harmful stereotypes about both genders. I’m not making a case of ‘what about the menz’ here, I’m just saying that even a group that purports to ‘put men in their place’ uses degrogatory and harmful misogynistic phrases and words.

Cazz Blase // Posted 13 December 2009 at 12:01 pm

As a side issue, is the use of rape in this context perhaps similar to the way that ‘gay’ has become playground slang in Britain for anything remotely naff, pathetic, crap etc? This has seeped in over about the past ten years and the only people who seem to have taken exception to it have been Stonewall, who pointed out that it was being used in a way that is one step away from queerbashing. I was glad when Stonewall picked up on it in that case because it had been saddening me for some time before they did, as I’d seen/heard the effects in action whilst dealing with the post-school internet rush in public libraries.

Prada Casual // Posted 13 December 2009 at 3:25 pm

as a man id like to make a comment.

This expression has slipped into popular culture, which i oppose.

However is it any worse than saying: “hes got me bent over a table here” or “we’re not gonna drop our panties on price” or “im not gonna open my legs any further for them”

I dont intend to be coarse but you hear this language in my sales office everyday, and the women are amongst the worst offenders.

My mother’s a feminist as is the mrs so i can see the argument about boiling a frog etc.

Serian // Posted 13 December 2009 at 6:04 pm

What’s the best way to confront this when your friends do things like this? Like Elmo, I tend not to confront them because a) it’s difficult and b) I nag them over a lot of things already. We’re all teenagers so I need a way of replying that isn’t too pompous. I think if I see it on facebook/msn I’ll use depresso’s answer but that’s hard to say in person.

Laurel Dearing // Posted 13 December 2009 at 9:30 pm

obviously i agree, and occasionally it gets irritating, however, its late into this and i think its already become such a widespread term that it doesnt matter how many groups get shut it will still be used. i too think its sad how when it is used taking into account the concept of violation it is used jokingly, as opposed to say if they were using it in the traditional properterial sense of the word and not thinking. im hoping that the usage will evolve into something new soon. its already fraped a lot of the time. it wont ever go back to hacked because you cannot argue that case. theres no hacking involved. just someone leaving their page up. what gets me is that when people do it, the only thing they can ever seem to think of is gay jokes, not even directed at one person (eg “loves *insert name here*”) but is gay, loves cocks etc etc. its boring amongst other things. but i really get anxious waiting to hear the other person turn around and say how horribly they were raped. i feel worst the term is applied to me if someone does it. “LOL youve just been raped” is not something i wish to hear. i remember someone not being too happy when their mum phoned them up to ask why their profile status said theyd been horrificly etc etc

Bunc // Posted 13 December 2009 at 9:41 pm

Clearly the widening out of the use of words happens all the time in our language. Sometimes one can be neutral about this process and see it as part of the natural changes in the way our language works.

BUT – there some words which – rightly – are very specific and which also carry great emotional resonance. The word rape is such a word and it’s a shame that people can’t find another word to describe things like accounts being trashed etc.

I’m sure that Jewish people and other groups who went through the holocaust must shake their heads when they hear the word Holocaust being used in other contexts to describe trivial things.

Language usage is very difficult to control though and once words become “trendy” in a new context it can be very difficlt to halt the process.

Charlie Twist // Posted 13 December 2009 at 9:43 pm

Serian, personally I smack them upside the head, but I play the big sister/mother role with my social circle so I can. Our social circle also has a large number of assault and rape survivors in it so it’s a little easier…

If it’s someone particular doing it a lot pull them aside when you’ve got a moment and gently point out that it’s highly likely that one of the people they’re speaking to has been raped and they need to pull their head’s in. Double blow, pointing out that they’re out of line and just how common it is in one fell swoop.

aimee // Posted 13 December 2009 at 9:55 pm

Prada Casual: I think those expressions you referenced are pretty horrible. I certainly wouldn’t want to hear anyone use them… to use rape and rape imagery in that kind of context is pretty callous.

aimee // Posted 13 December 2009 at 10:00 pm

BarenakedLady… I find that in addition to the ‘UR ALL A BUNCH OF…’ you also get ‘So and so is gay’ or ‘So and so likes cock’… so it’s not just trivialising rape, it’s also a homophobic, slut shaming practise too.

polly // Posted 14 December 2009 at 8:10 am

“”However is it any worse than saying: “hes got me bent over a table here” or “we’re not gonna drop our panties on price” or “im not gonna open my legs any further for them”””

Yes it is, because consensual sex isn’t a crime, and rape is. However I’d say such comments in the workplace may contribute to a discriminatory atmosphere that some people may find uncomfortable. If someone I line managed routinely said stuff like that in the workplace, I’d tell them to stop.

Ana // Posted 14 December 2009 at 10:26 am

Aimee- no Holocaust Denial is not illegal in this country or in America (although it is in Germany). Facebook has a big problem with racist hate groups as well, including Combat 18 and groups called ‘I hate Jews’.

I have given up complaining, its not good for the soul to be fighting and losing all the time!

Serian – I have had a few friends with groups I found offensive. I never bring it up in person (awkward much!) I just send a wee message on FB explaining why I don’t like a particular group. If someone is worthy of being your friend they will take your concerns on board and hopefully just delete the group. Its only a group after all, your friendship should be more important. Good Luck :)

BareNakedLady // Posted 14 December 2009 at 3:53 pm

@aimee – yeah, absolutely. I was just giving an example, but as you say, could be anything.

Elmo // Posted 14 December 2009 at 6:20 pm

Serian- I’m glad someone else is in the same situation! My friends are great people, and I think if they really understood the situation they would re-think a lot of what they say, but there is no getting through to them. To them i’m a constant nagging feminist, and I don’t think they even listen any more. As a teenager it’s particularly hard, because at that age they think they know it all, and refused to be swayed. Perhaps the best thing to say is simply “If you where a rape victim, how do you think you would feel about people using this word in these contexts?” or maybe even “Do you know what its actually like to be raped? Do you think its anything like going on facebook?” Aaaargh I dunno, any other suggestions?

Daniel // Posted 14 December 2009 at 9:24 pm

@Serian/Elmo – It’s hard, but I’ve always felt the best way to tackle these things is to make them feel a little awkward about what they said. It doesn’t always work but sometimes just staring at them and saying something like “Oh my God! What a horrible thing to say!” in a half joking, half genuinely shocked voice. It doesn’t work for all people and it depends on the group balance but sometimes it can put them on the spot a bit.

tahlia // Posted 15 December 2009 at 12:03 pm

It is possible to get a page or group removed. I found a group called something along the lines of “Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” which was full of sexist jokes. I reported it and got a few friends to as well and now it’s been taken down. There must have been a lot of other complaints but if enough people report it, it will get taken down.

One thing that really got to me though, was that you are required to give a reason from a list which includes racism, nudity, drug use, violence BUT NOT SEXISM… :(

mary // Posted 15 December 2009 at 12:10 pm

However is it any worse than saying: “hes got me bent over a table here” or “we’re not gonna drop our panties on price” or “im not gonna open my legs any further for them”

I dont intend to be coarse but you hear this language in my sales office everyday, and the women are amongst the worst offenders.

Um, wow. Please tell me where you work so I can make sure none of my money goes there. That’s completely grim.

Kez // Posted 15 December 2009 at 12:58 pm

What Mary said.

I can honestly say that over 20-plus years of working in offices of various kinds, I have never heard anyone routinely use language like that. It would raise a few eyebrows, to say the least.

Lara // Posted 15 December 2009 at 1:38 pm

@Prada

1. “hes got me bent over a table here” is not rape

2.”we’re not gonna drop our panties on price” is not rape.

3. “im not gonna open my legs any further for them” is not rape

For any man who seems unable to distinguish between rape and sex I would recommend watching the rape scene in ‘American History X’. Rape is totally unconsensual, sickening, life-changing and awful.

And just because their are women saying these things doesn’t mean that some women may not find these things offensive. In fact I imagine in a sales environment they are saying these things to impress and be ‘one of the guys’.

Claire // Posted 15 December 2009 at 1:59 pm

At the place my abusive ex husband worked for twenty years that sort of language and expression is commonplace – rape is frequently used to express driving too hard a bargain, among fund managers and traders in particular the language is dreadful. It is explicit and very sexually aggressive. Senior management used it too. It was part of a culture where porn was frequently downloaded and handed round, prostitutes engaged for “staff outings”, pornographic (really hard core stuff) DVDs handed out as “training material” by the directors. One junior woman (the only woman in the department) used to be forced to having her breasts fondled at Christmas whilst her bosses said, “Get them out and let’s have our Christmas bonus”. Clearly implying she wouldn’t get her bonus (which was peanuts) unless she complied. One of the men from this office is currently in prison for the killing of his wife last year, which was in all the national press. I don’t know how many of the other wives also suffered the sort of violence that resulted in that woman’s death and in my enduring 18 years of DV. But I do know that I am utterly convinced that it is a continuum. That if you don’t tell people that rape is a triggering word not to be used in jokes and make them stop, and make them stop using all the other vile and sexually aggressive expressions quoted by others, then you end up with domestic homicide, and children without a mother, and fathers behind bars.

Jonny too bad // Posted 15 December 2009 at 4:35 pm

@ lara

i disagree with you. Without being base none of the expressions prada posted refer to consensual sex.

They are used by people when they express they are being put under immense pressure.

Sales is male dominated environment, i worked for major multi-national london based publishing house in ad sales for 7 years (im no longer with them).

The bosses were all pompous ex public school pricks who treated women like toys.

There was an incident 6 years ago when a pregnant secretary had 2 directors asking her publicly in front of the whole office if want some group action later.

She tried to complain but nothing was done and she knew nobody would take her side.

Sexism, homophobia and racism are rife in sales.

Its all about being macho and proving your manhood.

Women are commodities who never achieve very much apart from the odd token promotion.

Gay people are hired as one director once told me over a pint “as every office needs someone to laugh at”.

In short its different to other jobs very different.

Finally id like to say im sorry to hear about your situation claire. All I can say is sales is full of very insecure and unstable people particularly in management. Thats one reason why i left it to do something more socially productive.

Jess // Posted 15 December 2009 at 5:35 pm

I’ve just read through all of the comments on this post, and am surprised to see that no-one has mentioned freedom of speech.

Reporting groups to have them taken down doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t change people’s attitudes, it doesn’t open dialogue, it won’t make anything any different in the future.

I am Jewish and hold exactly the same view with regard to Holocaust denial and other antisemitic material; there is no point just trying to silence people.

One of the wonderful things about the internet is that it gives many people the opportunity to express their opinions.

If those opinions are (in your view) misinformed or offensive, the answer is not to try to have them forcibly erased – a hopeless quest anyway – but to engage in dialogue and actually try to change people’s minds.

Anna // Posted 15 December 2009 at 11:03 pm

I’m not sure you get how facebook really works. A lot of people I hang out with on the internet are in totally awful groups, because they *want* to wind people up and get off on it. You’re not going to get much intelligent debate on facebook – what you will get is wound up, triggered and upset until you quit. That’s how it works.

In the one-on-one context, it can work better – if you know the person yourself and feel up to having a little word. Joining a facebook group and trying to change peoples opinions will do nothing, though – it’s not freedom of speech, it’s freedom to wind people up and upset people as much as they can.

Also on this topic, my best friend’s girlfriend said the ‘X-Factor single is going to rape the charts’. I said ‘it’s not really rape though, isit.’ in the comments, she said ‘oh sigh.’

I don’t like her any more.

Emily // Posted 16 December 2009 at 4:33 am

I encourage everyone to confront people making causal use of the term… The “only a joke” defense just makes it worse. Rape is just not an appropriate thing to joke about, in any way, period.

gadgetgal // Posted 16 December 2009 at 8:33 am

@Jess

I thought about the freedom of speech angle too and how that would work here, but I don’t think it’s that relevant. Basically I agree with freedom of speech too, even holocaust denial if somebody wants (I’m Jewish too, although I would hope that wouldn’t matter when it comes to finding it offensive or not), so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else very badly. And that’s the kicker – even in the US, where freedom of speech is one of the most important parts of the Bill of Rights, you aren’t allowed to just say whatever you want when you want. For example, in most countries they have ratings on films – technically that’s censorship and infringes upon other peoples freedom of speech and expression, but no one would complain because the content may harm others if it isn’t regulated. The same is true if someone wants to give me their opinion on something – they may have the right to say what they want, but if what they say offends me, either through the content or the use of language, then they can have that right rescinded, it isn’t just a total blanket right with no responsibilities attached. To use the holocaust as an example – saying it to me personally has a negligible amount of damage, so however horrible it may be to hear, there’s no law against it. Say it to a survivor of Dachau and it’s a different matter – it would then be more harmful, it could even be seen as an assault, and there ARE laws to prevent that.

You’re right that if we want to just ban people from saying what they think then that’s bad, and it probably would be better to try and change peoples minds instead. I also think Faceboook is a little different from the other examples I mentioned above because it isn’t as direct or pervasive as them, so trying to argue that it could harm a lot of people would be difficult. However, asking Facebook to take down a page because of offensive content is also freedom of speech, it’s then weighed up by an adjudicator as to whether or not the right to post the page is greater than the rights of the other people to not be harmed. It’s the same in law, you have to think about what damage will occur and how much there will be, which is why rights are not absolutes, more like guidelines. Admittedly you seem to have less of them here than in the US (individual rights, that is, they’re not so hot on the greater social good over there like they are here) but even there you don’t just have them no matter what.

So I think freedom of speech doesn’t really come into play here because the point can be argued for both sides – it’s then down to the owners of the site to decide who they agree with, and they’re allowed to remove whatever content they want!

aimee // Posted 16 December 2009 at 9:18 am

Jess… I think the point is that these people don’t understand that they’re being offensive and are not willing to understand WHY they’re being offensive. Having some kind of authority taking some kind of action might force them to consider why what they’re saying isn’t okay.

Femina Erecta // Posted 16 December 2009 at 11:51 am

@Lara

Bent over a table is a euphanism for rape. Parting their legs for someone is a euphanism for unwanted sexual access under pressure-ie sexual assault, as is dropping pants on price. Rape isn’t always the violent nightmare seen in History X and other media films. This perpetuates the myth that there is such a thing as ‘rape-rape’ (see Whoopi Goldburg). Rape is when someone has sex with someone else without their permission, and that can happen in all kinds of circumstances.

Language is a funny thing, the original meanings for phrases become euphanisms or metaphors totally accepted into the modern culture without comment. The whole ‘third meaning of the word gay’ thing that happened a few years ago for example was incredibly offensive to many many people and yet I know several people who still use it-although the 16 and 17 year olds I work with don’t so much, which is a good thing. Or the word ‘faggot’, which comes from when, instead of wood, homosexual men were trussed up and used as faggots on the fires that burned witches accross Europe in the 15-18th Cs. Or the word ‘handicapped’, from when people with disabilities would stand, cap in hand, begging, through lack of a decent welfare state. No one would dream of using these words in my work place, mostly because a long equal oppertunities course would be following:-)

Hopefully in the future people will think about what they say, and what it actually means, and change their vocabulary accordingly.

FeminaErecta // Posted 16 December 2009 at 3:18 pm

for confirmation ‘stand cap in hand’ wasn’t supposed to say that! Obviously not all were standing, and I am being very ablist in saying so-apologies, this is why we re-read our comments BEFORE submitting!

George // Posted 16 December 2009 at 4:52 pm

Femina Erecta – unfortunately, your etymology of the word “faggot” is completely unsubstantiated. This isn’t the right place for an argument about how offensive terms change their meaning and effect. Suffice to say that it is often far more complex than people ‘forgetting’ other meanings over time.

However, this does not alter your first point, with which I wholly agree. Focussing on Hollywood representations of rape does us no favours at all. I would also suggest that, contra Lara, any man who cannot distinguish between rape and sex might think about the word “No” – or, even better, read some stuff about positive consent.

As for freedom of speech, we have to get past this straw notion that everyone has the right to say exactly what they want. Because they don’t. For example, it is illegal to incite hatred on grounds of race or sexual orientation in the UK, and for good reason.

However, as Jess pointed out, there is also a deeper need, which urges us to engage with these people and explain exactly why they are out of order.

NB – I have given up with this as a societal project, and am now focussing my efforts on shouting at my friends in an affectionately drunken manner when such an incidence occurs (which is the form that most of feminist activism seems to be taking nowadays).

Pandora // Posted 11 January 2010 at 10:04 pm

This may be a month late, but in reading this I had to comment. I find the use of the word rape by my peers nothing short of appalling and whenever I express any sort concern to the effect I am met with critism. In fact mentioning it only seems to make it worse and they now tend to use it in front of me as much as possible. Even friends that identify as gay and you’d think would be more undersatnding. It is an unhappy conicidence that I had only just finished reading your post when I was invited to join a Facebook group as you had described. Except this one appears to be some kind of game promoting ‘Facebook Rape’…its description being:

“Have YOU or SOMEONE you KNOW been a Victim of Facebook RAPE???????

If you know someone who will love this page please invite for all to enjoy. Share the Frape! ♥ ”

I am looking for a way of reporting/doing something about it, but Faceook appear to have made it even harder to report anything in the last few weeks.

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