kyriarchy
Breaking the cis filter
JKBC·
When I was younger, I thought I was the 'opposite' binary gender to my assigned one and expressed myself accordingly. I was asked if I wanted to transition (in their words "have a sex change" when I was older. I replied no. Scornfully. Why would I do that? How would that even work?
Such was the cis filter on my life that to me, at the age of thirteen with a lot of gender-related Feelings, trans people were the crossdresser in the charity shop in town and the 'tranny' comments people made when they saw me. I had no idea that these genitals did not make me my assigned gender, that there was a possibility of not being my assigned gender, that there was a whole world outside the binary.
The tyranny of silencing
JKBC·
If I asked everyone here who had been called "humourless" or "too angry" when they stood up for their beliefs in equality to raise their hands, I imagine we would see a forest of hands. It's such a familiar situation - stressful, distressing, frustrating, alienating, but so common. Call out a sexist joke? Humourless. Call out racist taunts? Oversensitive. Call out cissexism? Angry over nothing.
No mind untouched
JKBC·
The kyriarchy leaves no mind untainted. If we examine our minds, our attitudes, we will all find biases, prejudices, stereotypes, stigmas, even self-hatred that is all coming from the oppression that we have been surrounded by from the moment our lives dawned on this world.
So what does that mean for us? On the one hand, it means that everyone interested in the cause of abolishing oppression can do a massive thing; challenge their own bias and oppressive ideas. That's hard, but it's also wonderful. It doesn't require grand gestures, or publicity - just introspection, humility and a willingness to apologise for and learn from our mistakes. On the other hand, it complicates everything massively. Most people we interact with day-to-day don't try to challenge their oppressive attitudes, and the old proverb about leading a horse to water holds firm.
Those things that we are
JKBC·
There is sometimes an awful temptation, in this struggle against the kyriarchy, to attempt to police yourself or other members of your group to make them more palatable to the wider society. It can seem as though this is the best way to achieve rights, to achieve a semblance of equality, to reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
Journey
JKBC·
A relatively short time ago, I decided to stop bothering 'presenting' as any gender because it was too much hard work. It was soon after that that I learned about feminism and anti-kyriarchism and became socially aware, noticing the biases rampant in the world around me. Feminism felt like a sphere that felt right, especially since dialogues about intersectionality are taking place. After that, it wasn't long before I found out that being outside of the gender binary of man/woman was possible.